Happy 2013

New Years is here at last and I am spending this holiday evening on my own.  That is okay though because when I get back to I-dee-hoo I am going to have my own New Years Eve party!  I realized that my friends and my life is in Idaho, and so I shouldn't expect it to be here.  Sometimes we have to go somewhere else to find our place in the world and I have found my place for now.  I miss my family when I am gone but Thompson is not for me.  I hate it because I feel like there is nothing for me here. I am okay with that though because I have so much to look forward to this year.  I am applying to teach English in China for a year which will be amazing if I am accepted. I am also doing the Biggest Winner program this winter, and I am getting close to my goal of 150 pounds lost (well I am 40 away).  If I can do well this semester (I know I can) I will be at least 20 pounds closer and I am just excited for everything.  

(new year's eve photo while hanging out with my cat)

It sounds silly but I feel like it is a new chapter in my life.  Well maybe it is still a transitional chapter but it is getting really good right now.  There are so many things I want to do in the next few years and two years ago I never would have been doing any of the things I do now (have friends, go out, exercise, go for walks, live life, etc.) 

(I am really cool)

I have now made it two years without chocolate and I don't really miss it anymore.  I have also made it one year without chips which seems really weird because I kind of still miss them but that is okay because once I hit two years without them I am sure it won't seem like a big thing.  

One thing I do need to take care of though is deciding this years resolution.  I don't know whether I should remove something from my diet/life or add something to my diet/life.  I have thought about going a year without McDonalds but when I am in Rexburg I don't ever go there so it is only a challenge when I am home.  I can't think of anything that is really a struggle to stop eating or to control.  I also can't think of what I could add... Well I could add a sleep rule but that is really hard at school and not as hard here.  I don't know what to do about this so if you have any suggestions please help me out!  

 (This is what I want to look like)

and Happy New Year.

moral is don't shower or you will get a fever.

I despise being sick.  I hate not having all of my senses ad feeling fuzzy all the time.  

Unfortunately, I seem to get sick quite often, a few times a year I get really sick and it is terrible.  I had the flu the week before fall semester started and then again now over the holidays.  A week into the break (christmas eve day) I ended up with a sore throat, a cough, and a fever.  Of course in my town there is the walk in clinic, and the hospital.  At the hospital if you go to emergency they will make you wait for five hours or so, and the walk in clinic is closed for FOUR days for the holidays.  Obviously I would get sick on the first of those days and be stuck lying in bed dying because we don't go to the hospital.  (my mom hates going to the doctors and so we rarely go.)

So I had to stay home and be sick for christmas eve, christmas, and boxing day.  I felt so sick I could not even think straight and I just had crazy brain.  For a while I was convinced that if I took a shower or put a blanket on, it would give me a fever.  It sounds crazy now, but my fever would go away and then I would shower and it would be back afterwards.  Or I would bundle up in some blankets, and SURPRISE! Fever time.

Finally this morning, day five of sickness, we went to the walk in clinic and they only take the first 20 people that come each day.  We were there by 8:25 and it turns out the doctor called in sick so the walk in was cancelled... 

They are closed for four days and then the first day they are open there is only one doctor and they are sick.  

Ridiculous.

Finishing Up

The end of the semester is almost here and I am almost done with everything.  Some things I am happy to be done with but others I am sad to see end.  This semester I did the Biggest Winner Program at school and it was so much fun (but also so much work).

I had an amazing team, and incredible trainers.  

(most of my team and all of my trainers)

I did the program before and it was a huge help to me but my heart wasn't really in it.  I struggled with my commitment and didn't get as far as I had hoped to.  I was so hard on myself last time and I felt the same way at the beginning of this semester.

Within the first few days I decided I didn't want to et any weight goals, and instead work on how I felt and what I could do.  I think I achieved this (plus a good amount of weight loss).  There were times that I felt like I couldn't keep going and that I was going to die doing whatever workout it was but having people supporting me and telling me I can keep going made it so much easier.  

(first photo-last weekend at the closing ceremonies for biggest winner, second photo-is from October 2009)

I still have a hard time recognizing the changes I have made, especially the physical changes, but looking at photos I am finally able to see what I have done. 

Over the past three months I managed to lose 20 pounds which makes it a total of 110 pounds lost in the past two years.  I am so grateful for the changes I have made in my life and for the people that have encouraged and supported me through these changes.  I am completely different now than I was two years ago and I am feel like I am getting ready to start a new chapter in my life and leave my old worries and fears behind.  I know that I can achieve anything I set my mind to and be anyone I want to be.